Homosexuality blindsided Nancy Heche not once, but twice. In 1983, Heche received devastating news. Her husband, Don, was dying of AIDS. She discovered that her spouse—a leader in their church—had carried on secret homosexual affairs throughout their 25-year marriage.
After Don died, Heche told God: “Don’t ever ask me to do anything around the issue of homosexuality. I’ll do anything but that.”
Then in the late ‘90s, she dealt with this issue again when her daughter Anne Heche, a Hollywood actress, had a very public lesbian relationship with comedian Ellen DeGeneres.
Homosexuality delivered a crushing blow. Heche was hurt. She was angry. And in her mind the entire homosexual community had “done me wrong,” she writes in her new book, The Complete Christian Guide to Understanding Homosexuality.
“They had raped my marriage, broken up my home and left me in despair,” she says. “As a result, my attitude needed an ‘extreme makeover.’ I needed to move out of my fear and anger and confusion into a place of love and respect where God’s truth and grace could overcome my bitterness.”
Through God’s transformative healing power, Heche, who has master’s and doctorate degrees in pastoral counseling, has been able to share her story and speak extensively on homosexuality. She has also counseled many people directly impacted by this issue.
“When I share the story of my own journey as a wife and mother who has been affected by homosexuality, I believe like Esther that I’ve been put in this place ‘for such a time as this,’” she told Charisma. “I’m here to speak respectfully and lovingly to those in a same-sex relationship and to their families, and I am here to remind the church that we are called to love all our neighbors, not just our heterosexual ones.”
She continues to carry out this mission through her new book, co-written with Genesis Counseling founder Joe Dallas. The one-stop resource is for anyone—families, pastors, counselors, those struggling with same-sex attraction—and addresses the difficult questions that come with the territory. A variety of contributors with specific expertise offer well-researched information, biblical perspective and practical advice.
Heche also shares more of her own story and insights, which further demonstrate the “makeover” God’s done in her heart. Make no mistake, Heche stands strong in her convictions. But she’s traded her “us versus them” worldview for God’s winning strategy regarding homosexuality, in which love trumps everything.
