Tue. May 13th, 2025

9 Secrets That Your Pastor’s Wife Wishes You Knew

woman holding Bible

It is one of the most damaging things they witness regularly inside the church whether it be through emails, social media or gossip. They wish people understood how serious God’s Word speaks on the danger and power of our words. And how much it can injure the pastor’s family.

7) “Please don’t look down on me or assume I don’t support my husband just because you don’t see me every time the church’s doors are open.”

Most wives are not paid staff. They are wives, often mothers, and some are employed outside the home. They need to be allowed the freedom to pray and choose the ministries they feel called to.

8) “I wish people knew that we taught our children to make good choices, but sometimes they don’t.”

Jokes about pastors’ kids should be avoided at all costs. The risk of rebellion in a “preacher’s kid” is no secret. They aren’t perfect and never will be (are yours?). They have to learn to walk in their faith just as other children and need encouragement and love to do so. Again, extend grace.

9) “What I can tell you is I have been blessed beyond measure. I have been given gifts, money, love and prayer—so much prayer—by so many.”

They love their church and understand the role comes with special challenges and special blessings; it is fulfilling and brings them great joy.

One Extra Thought

Though it was not a common response, there was one that stood out. The top of the list of one seasoned pastor’s wife simply read, “I deleted my number 1.” Some secrets are so difficult to share, even the promise of complete confidence is not enough to bring them out.

These godly women have something they want us to know and as a body of believers working together toward the same goal, I think we might gain a better understanding of how to appreciate our leaders by listening. All of these responses point to a singular truth: Your pastor’s wife is a human being who desires to be known, just as you do.

Reprinted with permission from Shattered Magazine. Christina Stolaas is a mom to four young kids, wife, a lover of the outdoors and people. In her free time she enjoys writing, training for road races, drinking too much coffee, belly laughs with friends and pursuing a deeper walk with Jesus. She is forever thankful that God’s script for her life needs no editing. (Romans 8:28) Click here to view the original post.

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