I am ‘Mum’ to three amazing biological children. Sir J, age 14; Lady M, age 12; and Little Miss, 7. You can stop pulling that puzzled face; these are not their real names—just how I refer to them in order to respect their future online identity and privacy.
My initiation into motherhood didn’t begin with a pretty white dress, two rings on my finger, a Christian husband who’d vowed to love me for life, or a mature and well thought out approach to “family planning.”
Nope, it was quite the opposite actually. Instead, as a drug-addicted, just turned 19-year-old, partying at a bar with friends renowned for its biker population, I met my Prince Charming. Actually, I met some random, heavily tattooed, good-looking bad boy who was a prospect for the Hell’s Angels. And so, with the knowledge of his first name, and age (27), I accompanied him home … to play chess, you see. Soon after our first introduction, we began “dating” (I use the term loosely). And a few weeks later, BOOM, I was pregnant! Just like that. Who knew chess had such life-changing consequences!
My relationship with Biker Boy was never going to last. We were worlds apart, and although he didn’t think it was a good idea for me to have a baby at such a young age, he still respected my decision to continue with the pregnancy and raise this unexpected child. And so, we parted ways. He alone, me with burgeoning belly.
As a single, pregnant, 19-year-old woman, self-detoxing from a cocktail of drugs, my journey into motherhood was never going to be easy.
I was the only child of divorced parents, living in a low socioeconomic area. Teen pregnancy was the norm, and I was acutely aware that I’d just become another statistic. But I made a decision: I was going to be different; I was going to break the mold; I was going to break the poverty cycle! I might even study to become a lawyer! Yes, I would make a difference indeed!
And so my baby boy arrived, and I was a mum. Motherhood came easily for me. And I don’t say that with even a hint of conceitedness. Truly, it was just the only time I had ever, and have ever really, known what I was doing (I was still in my teenage years; I was aware all this could change!). But I guess that being so young also meant that I had the advantage of ignorance. Yes, advantage.
I’d never read parenting books, I certainly had no “mummy friends” to swap notes or make comparisons with. It was innate instinct and Holy Spirit baby rearing. Thankfully it was during the early stage of my pregnancy that I decided to do things God’s way—most of the time.
