I was the absolute worst student in high school and college. My study habits were nothing to write home about.
In fact, I never wrote home about them or told my parents about them because they were embarrassingly bad.
Today, I am a completely different person. Not only have my study habits have changed, but I have as well—from my physical appearance to my thought process to how I handle things emotionally.
My wife, whom I’ve known since high school, will be the first to tell you I’m a new man. She is a new woman as well. The person I fell in love with over 14 years ago is not the same person I’m in love with today.
Therefore, it would be a huge mistake for me to relate to her based on who she was on our wedding day; I need to relate to her based on who she is today. This takes a discovering process that happens primarily through intentional study.
Become a lifelong learner of your spouse. Some things you learn may be great and others not so great, but ultimately it’ll help you connect more intimately with your wife. It’s time we all go back to school to study our wives.
Below are five reasons going back to school to study your wife is a great idea, as well as five practical study habits you can develop to make it happen:
1. Listen to her. Groundbreaking idea, huh? I list this with full disclosure. I’m not the best listener, but when I intently listen to her, I learn a lot. Be intentional about this.
2. Spend regular and frequent time together alone. Block out at least 15 minutes daily for each other, and date weekly. Just spending 15 minutes together per day will provide a consistent opportunity to talk and learn more about one another, just like dating will, and it’s fun.
3. Exercise together. Striving for and achieving fitness goals together is amazing. You’ll learn a lot about her in how she responds when stressed, when challenged, when tired and when succeeding.
4. Read books together. Grab some books on marriage and parenting, money, fitness or just a fiction book. As you discuss it, you’ll get more insight into her thoughts and her feelings.
5. Pray for her and with her. Prayer is very intimate, and you’ll learn a lot. When we pray for our wives and ask God for help, I believe He gives insight to us about our wives as well. Pray daily and see what happens.
Jackie Bledsoe is an author, blogger and speaker, but first and foremost a husband and father of three who helps men better lead and love the ones who matter most.
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