Singleness or loneliness is a fear for many. And I can’t tell you how many people bring this fear to me as they walk away from their same-sex attraction in pursuit of God.
I had told God nine years ago that a condition to my surrender is that I do not remain single. The need for companionship, desire for a family and children is a deep-seated desire for many of those who struggle with same-sex attraction.
What I’ve learned over the past nine years of singleness as I pursue the Father is that God will not be bargained with or manipulated. So the big question is, “How have I been dealing with these unquenchable desires while remaining single?”
I’ve had to separate and deal with my feelings according to the Word of God. Have you ever analyzed your feelings by asking yourself why?
Why do I feel sad? Because I feel lonely.
Why do I feel lonely? Because I am single and childless, and everyone around me is married with children.
The root of my sadness is usually the trap of comparison and trying to obtain what the majority values on this earth. Maybe you’re finding yourself struggling with finances because you are trying to keep up with the latest trends, or you have a fear of failure due to not obtaining that perfect career.
We must not compare ourselves according to the world’s standard. Rather, the Holy Spirit should be our guide and marker. God does not tell us to go with the flow of our feelings because our feelings are rarely lined up with biblical truths.
We must first:
- Read and gain biblical understanding (renewed mind).
- Walk in faith, not feelings (doing what the Bible suggests).
- Line our feelings up with truth (facts becoming experientially real).
