Is your desire to get married turning into an idol?
In an interview with YouTuber Jackie VanTine at Media Day 2025 presented by Charisma Media, Jonathan Cahn discussed the deceptive ways the enemy can use marriage against godly people looking for a mate.
A growing trend within the modern church—especially on platforms like YouTube—is the rise of so-called “kingdom spouse” prophecies. However, for some, this trend can often lead to deep emotional confusion and spiritual deception.
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“Two years I waited for a man. And it was not it. And I got all these signs. I got all these dreams,” VanTine says of her own experience. It’s a story that resonates with many, especially in a culture where relationship status often defines personal worth—even among Christians.
Cahn also weighed in, sharing his own experience. “I was engaged early on in the Lord… there seemed to be signs… but it wasn’t,” he said. Cahn later met his wife under truly divine circumstances—after he had fully surrendered the idea of marriage. “Only when I totally gave up… and said, ‘Lord, if You don’t want me to be married, I’m fine’—that’s when it happened.”
Cahn emphasized the importance of removing idols from our hearts, including the idol of marriage. “If we’re putting God first in our life… then it has to be OK. A marriage can’t be an idol.” He warned that misplaced desires and emotional attachment to prophetic claims can make believers vulnerable to deception. “The enemy will play on anything… and people can fool themselves.”
Instead of viewing themselves as less than or cursed for being unmarried, Cahn reminds viewers that: “If you’re single, you are blessed. If you’re married, you’re blessed.” Great men of God—like Paul and John the Baptist—remained single and lived out their purpose powerfully.
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The bottom line?
Seek God first. Let go of personal timelines and emotional pressure. “When you’re really content with the Lord, He’ll give it to you—because it’s no longer an idol,” Cahn says.
As the church navigates the distractions of the end times, believers must remain rooted in truth and discernment. Relationship promises should never eclipse a surrendered life to Christ.
Abby Trivett is content development editor for Charisma Media.
