The next generation has been plagued by an unknown dating epidemic: situationships. This modern take on dating has left many heartbroken, confused and in need of some godly wisdom. In a sit-down chat with his daughter, Bella, Pastor Mike Signorelli addressed this topic, providing some fatherly counsel and advice.
“I’ve been hearing the word ‘situationship,’ which is when a guy doesn’t define the relationship,” Signorelli begins. “As a dad to two girls, I never would want one of my precious daughters to be some other man’s situation. As a matter of fact, it makes me want to fight somebody live on camera right now.”
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The father-daughter duo confronted the harsh realities of dating culture, including ghosting, emotional trauma and insecurity-driven relationships. Signorelli (Dad) doesn’t dismiss the seriousness of ghosting but explains the reasoning behind it in some cases: “Sometimes there is no right way to end a relationship… because they’re mentally and emotionally disturbed and they’re always going to have a counterpoint.” For those wondering why ending relationships can be so painful, he explains, “Relationships are like car crashes—the faster you go, the more damage is done.” He cautions against going too deep emotionally, too fast: “You go from barely talking to each other to three-hour FaceTime calls.”
For a bit of fatherly advice, Signorelli warns not to date when you’re feeling broken.
“When you date out of your insecurities, what that means is that you’re choosing someone that you believe is going to solve your insecurities. And that’s toxic.”
To help Christians self-diagnose whether they are dating out of insecurity, Signorelli offers three key signs:
- “Are you making progress mentally and emotionally through your own trauma and pain without another person?”
- “If you can’t be attracted to a healthy person, you’re not healthy.”
- “You settle for what you know is not God’s best.”
Bella makes a good point that when we have physical wounds, we have to put alcohol on it, even though it may sting for a bit. In a similar way, when we invite the Holy Spirit into our dating spaces, even though it’s scary, He can heal our insecurity and bring His perfect will into our lives.
Perhaps one of the scariest questions of all that Bella asks is how to determine whether or not someone is the person God intends for you to marry.
“At the end of the day, you don’t know definitively,” says Signorelli. “Faith is the evidence of things hoped for. It’s the substance of things not seen. And it’s like instead of me hoping that Julie is the right one, the question is ‘Have I become the right one for her?’ and ‘Is she becoming the right one for me in every season of our life?’ And I have faith. So, it’s like I have faith in our relationship and what God is and does through me and through her, and we’re becoming instead of being.”
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In a culture where love is often confused with convenience and commitment is traded for comfort, Pastor Mike Signorelli’s conversation with his daughter Bella brings a much-needed voice of truth to the dating struggles of Gen Z. Although ‘situationships’ may be the current norm, they are not God’s design. For the next generation, this isn’t just dating advice—it’s a call to rise above cultural confusion and pursue a love story authored by the Creator Himself.
Abby Trivett is content development editor for Charisma Media.
