Visualizing a New You
As part of securing yourself in this new place, try performing a simple mental exercise involving visualization. Picture yourself at a healthy weight, and then ask yourself a few questions: Will weighing a healthy weight affect your relationships with your family, spouse, friends and co-workers? You bet it will! Many people never think about this and are shocked when close friends become jealous, or your spouse is intimidated by your weight loss. Family members and in-laws may try to tempt you with your favorite cake, pie or comfort food. As difficult as it is to imagine, it’s possible that some of your close friends or relatives actually don’t want you to lose weight. They may be envious and try to sabotage your weight loss. After all, they have gotten accustomed to you being overweight, and when you lose weight, you will be forcing them to come to grips with their own weight problems.
Will your weight loss improve your marriage? You would think that the obvious answer is yes; however, I have treated many overweight couples and often find this not to be the case. When one spouse loses weight and the other one does not lose weight, many times the spouse who has lost weight begins to get much more attention from the opposite sex at work, while shopping and while running errands. Some men and women have simply never had attention from the opposite sex, and when they lose weight and start looking great in their clothes, the sudden attention is not only flattering but also enticing. Are you and your spouse prepared for these possible feelings of jealousy, intimidation and flattery? On the other extreme, some people have subconsciously gained weight to protect themselves from the pain of being rejected or from going through another painful relationship or breakup. Have you thought through how these issues affect your current and future health?
Also, will you be ready in a few months to purchase a new wardrobe? While the very thought of shopping makes many women excited, some men get physically ill at the notion that they will have to buy expensive new suits. And are you prepared for the possibility of promotion or demotion at work? Yes, a leaner and trimmer image may be all you need for that promotion, or it may spark jealousy in your boss who may move you to another department. Understand that by losing weight, people will see you differently and treat you differently.
My point in asking these questions is not to plant fear or worry in your mind but to help you realize that things will change when you lose weight—often drastically. I want you to be prepared to deal with these changes. Some patients with a large amount of weight to lose need psychological counseling to deal with these issues. To me, that is a wonderful sign that they are accepting the drastic change and allowing others to help them walk through it. If you feel you need such guidance, don’t hesitate to seek it out before you start losing. The important thing is that you ask yourself these questions now so that you will not sabotage your weight loss later with wrong thoughts.
This often gets overlooked when people decide to embark on a life-changing journey such as the “I Can Do This” program. It is important that you make sure the timing is right for you and that you have counted the cost before you start this program. In this chapter we have talked a lot about excuses, and the truth is, you only need one real excuse not to do this program. Understand, however, that the very fact that you picked up this book is reason to believe that you are indeed ready for a change. If you are in the midst of a major stressful time in your life such as a divorce, a life-threatening illness, a serious accident, a lawsuit, an IRS audit, a move, a job change, or some other major life event, then this program is definitely for you.
Before you question my sanity, hear me out on this. I realize that most diet books would tell you to forgo the diet until the major stress passes. First, you’ll soon learn how truly different the “Can Do” mindset is. Second, this is not only a lifestyle that is easily adaptable, but it is also a lifestyle that can easily bring sanity, peace, assurance and hope in the midst of a chaotic time of your life. I have found over the years that when these simple dietary and lifestyle principles are practiced regularly, they help you to manage stress and prevent stress eating—not further it. Finally, this is the healthiest program you can be on during such a stressful, up-in-the-air time of your life. I do not want you to follow it during pregnancy, but it can be followed safely for people with heart disease, cancer, Type 2 diabetes, Type 1 diabetes, and almost any other disease. To top it off, it stabilizes the blood sugar, decreases inflammation in the body, controls hunger and includes a diversity of tasty foods.
