I don’t have a perfect marriage. I have a good marriage. We work at it.
But, it isn’t perfect. Our marriage, probably like yours, is a work in progress. And, the reason we don’t have a perfect marriage is because there are two imperfect people in this marriage, just like in your marriage.
But, through years of counseling and working with hundreds of marriages in distress, I have a few thoughts on what it would take to have the perfect marriage. I’m not saying I will ever get there. You won’t either. But, having a standard to push for, that I actually push for, always seems to make me better than I am today, and I am striving.
And, it takes two people working for the same goal. Doesn’t it? Many of you know that all too well. It’s always sad to me when one person gives up on the challenge.
But, all I know to advise people to do is to do your part. And, I’ll try to do mine. The best I know how. (Which some days is better than others.) Hopefully two hearts will be joined together more and more into one heart if each of us strive to do our part.
But, if I had a perfect marriage, here are 12 things I’d do:
- Never go to bed angry.
- Always consider her interests ahead of mine.
- Invest my best time, apart from my time with Christ, in her.
- Love Christ deeply and model His love for her.
- Protect her heart, above all things.
- Value her more for who she is than what she does.
- Honor her with my words, always striving to build her up and encourage her.
- Listen to her, without trying to fix every problem she has.
- Pray for her more than for myself.
- Encourage her dreams and be her biggest cheerleader.
- Never take what we have for granted.
- Remind her often all the reasons I married her, and that I’d do it all over again.
That’s my list.
Which of these do you most need to incorporate into your marriage? Maybe if we—I—just worked on one of these at a time, we’d have an even better marriage than we have today.
What would you add to this list?
Ron Edmondson is a pastor at Immanuel Baptist Church in Lexington, Ky. He is also a church leadership consultant who is passionate about planting churches, helping established churches thrive and assisting pastors and those in ministry think through leadership, strategy and life. Prior to ministry, Ron had more than 20 years of business experience, mostly as a self-employed business owner. Follow Ron on Facebook, Twitter, and his blog at ronedmondson.com.
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