Sat. Aug 2nd, 2025

5 Ways to Love Your Wife When She’s Not Looking

Man and woman

3. Don’t disrespect her or put her down. “But I was just joking.” Sound familiar?  Jokes are funny. I love to hear and tell jokes. Ask me anytime about the duck that walked into the drugstore. Just don’t use your wife as the subject matter for your jokes. I hear too many men around the water cooler putting their wives down for the enjoyment of their friends. The fact that she can’t hear you, doesn’t make it OK. But it gets even worse. There are some men who will disrespect and put down their wives in front of their very own children! We need to honor our wives with our words all the time.

4. Provide for her/your family’s needs. We are designed to be providers. It’s how God made us. But it’s not about dollar amounts. It’s not about vacations and cars. It’s about stability. When we provide stability, we take away worry from our wives. They feel loved and cared for when they know that we are providing. Pastor Tony Evans tells about a signal he uses with his wife and his family. He holds up three fingers. The unspoken message is “I’ve got this.” Most importantly, he’s given them reason to believe him when he uses it. That’s what providing is about. When we make wise decisions that provide stability, we are loving our wives. Even if they don’t see the decisions we are making.

5. Be willing to put her needs before yours (without a parade). “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Eph. 5:25). We all know this one, and we accept this command. But we need to do this without a parade. We all like to get the credit for what we do right, even though we may be reluctant to get the credit for what we do wrong.  But we need to love our wives by putting her needs before ours even when we don’t get the credit for it.

Loving our wives with words and with actions shouldn’t depend on who’s listening or watching. It should be the pleasure of our lives to make decisions, and speak words that honor our wives. They are gifts from God, designed just for us. It’s time we see them as that, and cherish them. Love your wife today while you’re at work, while you’re at the gym and also when you get home. Trust me, you’ll enjoy the results!

What can you do this week to show love to your wife when she’s not around?

Kevin Schouten is the co-founder of small2TALL, a ministry designed to encourage and equip men to become God-fearing gentlemen. He resides in Kankakee, Illinois with his wife, Elizabeth and his two children, Hannah and Elliot, and his five stepchildren, Joe, Ali, Christina, Chad and Caleb. For more information or to connect with Kevin, visit small2tall.com. And connect on Facebook.

For the original article, visit manturity.com.

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