I walked into my favorite grocery store. I was tired. I hadn’t eaten that day and it was close to 5 pm. I had just made the decision to eat sugar-free and gluten-free that morning. I was going to the store to buy something healthy to fix for supper.
I had not thought about the looming obstacle I would encounter. I knew it was there. It’s always there right as I head down the main aisle. Today, it seemed to be larger and more intimidating than ever—the bakery case.
My downfall has always been the combination of sugar, flour and cinnamon. The large cinnamon rolls called to me. The voice in my head was urgent and loud, “You haven’t eaten today. You need to eat something. You need energy. You might drop dead if you don’t eat.”
I listened to the voice and added my own rationalities. “I do have a long evening ahead and I haven’t eaten. I do need energy. I could grab these now and start that healthy eating thing tomorrow.” I was telling myself this as I took a plastic baggie, grabbed the tongs and had my two choices in the bag.
Gods’ Voice
As I was tying the bag, I heard another voice in my head. This one was soft and quiet. It simply said, “What are you doing?”
The still, small voice arrested me. I had been on autopilot listening to the voice of the tempter who sided with my fleshly desires. All of sudden, I knew what I was doing was everything I had vowed I would not do.
I put the bag back in the bakery case and went to choose my skinned and deboned chicken breasts, salad ingredients, broccoli and fruit. That was in 2011. That was the last time I willingly listened to that overt voice.
The Tempter’s Voice
For years, I listened to it all the time. See, the voice of the tempter always has an element of truth to it. What he tells me is half-truth, half-lie. In the past, he hadn’t needed to be too subtle. He just put the bait out there and like a hungry, naive fish, I’d bite and gobble it up and more and more and more. He would sit back with a smug smile. Mission accomplished.
Part of the reason I always listened to him was that it sounded so logical to me. My rational mind agreed with him because my flesh wanted something sweet and carb-laden with all the unhealthy fats.
What the tempter didn’t take into account was that this time I really meant it. I had made a firm decision. I was going to listen to the voice of God. I had invited God to tell me when I was making a wrong decision.
How God Speaks
Because I had asked Him to, God spoke to me. It was different than the voice of evil. Instead of asking me to mindlessly do something, God asked me to think about what I was doing.
God believed in me. He believed if I would use the brain He gave me, I would recognize the lie and go with the truth.
This one instance, and many others throughout the years, taught me a lot about distinguishing the voices speaking in my head. I only want to listen to the voice of God. These days, I can tell which voice is His.
