Me? Well I sat for most of the day trying to rationalize why I had this deep-seated need to go to this man’s funeral. Not necessarily for him but for me. Neal didn’t understand, worried for me and for my true intentions. He didn’t get it. He supports me if I go but is simply worried. Surprisingly it’s my younger sister’s friend, Heather, who “gets it.” She offered to go with me because she doesn’t think I should be alone.
My friends expressed their love and concern telling me to pray and God would reveal what I should do. And that is what I did. Would you know that I received a phone call from Dr. ‘C’ who is over the Right to Life for our Archdiocese to talk about the Maria Goretti Network. In this phone conversation, once we dealt with the ‘business’ aspect, we were talking about the people we work with, the raw emotions, the need for healing, etc.
“May I ask you a personal question?” I said.
“Yes, of course,” she replied.
And so I told her about what has been going on with me over these last few months and how my grandfather passed away last night.
“Oh,” she said, “I bet you feel the need to go and put the final nail in the coffin so to speak?”
This rush of peace swept over me. “Yes! exactly. I don’t know why, but I feel like I need to go.”
“Of course,” she said. “You haven’t seen or heard from him in years and especially since all your memories came back. You need to go and see that he is dead. Pray and say what you need to say and leave. That’s it.”
There it was, my answer and my validation. So I took Heather up on her offer. One catch with Heather … she doesn’t fly. So we will be driving to New Mexico and we are going to take my little 6-month-old nephew, Riley, per my request. What a better way to end this “Sexual Assault Awareness and Childhood Abuse Awareness Month” don’t you think? You won’t want to miss those blogs!
It is a crazy situation but the purpose is for healing and forgiveness.
Shannon Dietz is the author of EXPOSED: Inexcusable Me…Irreplaceable Him and founder of Hopeful Hearts Ministry, an advocacy non-profit organization (501 c3) giving a VOICE to survivors of abuse. She is a featured columnist with Choose-Now Ministries.com “Shannon Deitz: On Hope”, has been featured on catholiclane.com, Lifestyle & Charity magazine and Catholic Women’s magazine. She and her husband, Neal, live in Kingwood, Texas, where they are active in their local church and community. The couple has two sons, Ryan and Seth, who provide them with endless joy and reason to continually count their Blessings.
