Picture
I had the picture all wrong.
We are spirit, soul and body—three distinctly different pieces of us. It’s similar to Father, Holy Spirit and Jesus—three distinctly different parts of God. They are all Him, but all different with different functions.
So the picture, Margaret explained, looks more like three points of a triangle with a circle at each point representing the spirit, soul and body. The key, though, is that the one that is at the top is the one that is in charge of me.
For me, soul being in charge was working. I was coping fine with my issues and moving forward. However, what would happen if spirit was in charge? That seemed so much more nebulous. How could I fully allow spirit to be in charge and what would that look like? Although I always said I was Spirit-led, I didn’t realize that might be in conflict with my soul which had gotten comfortable being in charge.
I accessed God whenever a decision came up that I didn’t know how to handle. I prayed. I weighed the options. I made a decision. I was becoming aware, though, that my mind had never abandoned the control to my spirit. As a matter of fact, that just seemed irresponsible and crazy.
Trying to imagine what it would be like if my spirit, submitted to God’s Spirit, was completely in charge of my soul and my body was blowing my mind. When had I ever allowed spirit to be in charged without letting my mind have the last say? My mind literally ached with the thought of giving up the top spot.
Then I realized. My spirit is now the weaker part of me. The one part of me I thought was strong, all of a sudden I saw as a slumbering spirit that needed to be awakened. If this old ship called me was going to continue on the journey, I better get the right part up front as the captain.
Led
How do I do that?
This is where I have no words to express the bottomless pit feeling I have still. I am about to go on yet another journey of risk with a ship I’m not sure is ready for the journey. I am about to do things I know the Holy Spirit has been speaking to me, nudging me about for years. I am going on a journey completely led by my spirit in tune with God’s Spirit.
It doesn’t mean shutting off my mind, will and emotions because that as my soul is a part of me. It means they must be in total submission to my spirit which is in submission to God’s Spirit. If there is a conflict between my mind and my spirit, I will need to go with my spirit.
