Q: What happened that caused you to confront what had happened and begin healing? How did you get started?
I was in my 30s, married and a stay-at-home mother of two before I began to recognize the impact the abuse had on my life. All the years of hiding from the past had kept me from dealing with my emotional wounds, and it was during this time my world seemed to be falling apart. I was struggling to overcome, among other things, a deep sense of anger and resentment. Not knowing exactly where it was coming from, I could sense God speak to my heart through His Word and place people in my path to encourage me to face my past and begin the journey to heal.
Not knowing where to begin, I searched for books on the topic of abuse. Some were helpful, but some left me feeling more angry. I began to journal what I was feeling and process those feelings through Bible study and prayer. God did much of His healing work through my quiet time with Him, and it was through that time the foundation of this book was laid.
Q: Was your stepfather ever held accountable for what he did? Is justice important in recovery?
No, at least not from a legal standpoint. I believe he is accountable to God, and God will deal with his sin in the same way He deals with mine. Justice is important, and often a lack of justice or validation can cause even deeper and longer-lasting wounds for a survivor. When justice has swiftly taken place in a case of CSA, a victim is validated in a powerful way, and healing can begin to take place. However, when the opposite is true, it can leave victims with a terrible sense of worthlessness, abandonment and betrayal that greatly hinders and lengthens the recovery process.
Q: What would you say to someone who is holding this secret right now, afraid to reach out for help?
I would tell them they are not alone, they are not to blame, and they are deeply loved. I would add there are well more than 42 million adult survivors of sexual abuse today, many of whom are on their own journey to heal. I would encourage them to read my book and seek out a Christian counselor or pastor whom they can share their story with and begin the healing process.
Learn more about Journey to Heal and Crystal M. Sutherland at www.crystalsutherland.org, Facebook or Twitter.
