Thu. May 15th, 2025

How to Help Your Children Feel Safe in an Unsafe World

Yesterday there was another school shooting. As a result of the actions of one 15-year-old male student at Marshall County High School in Benton, Kentucky, two students are dead and 17 are injured. Five of those are in critical condition.

Reports like this can be discouraging and concerning. Again, we ask, what can we do?

In December, 2012, a school shooting in Newtown, CT, stunned us all. I wrote the following then and I’m reposting it today in hopes someone will be positively affected.

We Must Do What We Can Do

We can’t control what happens to our children. You’ve known that. Yesterday’s trauma just drives that home.

Trying to control our children often backfires. If we have too many demands, they rebel. If we use too many boundaries, they won’t know how to be free. They may not know they can be free. They may have no confidence.

Too much control can actually make children more insecure. It’s the very opposite of what you want for them.

We can control how we behave toward our children. And, other children, too.

  • Know them.
  • Respect them.
  • Interact with them.
  • Comfort them.
  • Like them.
  • Love them.
  • Honor them.
  • Affirm them.
  • Spend time with them.
  • Embrace them.
  • Listen.
  • Talk.
  • Do things with them.
  • Help them learn, study and practice.
  • Hug them.
  • Help them.
  • Cherish them.
  • Welcome them.
  • Celebrate them.

These choices and actions will help children feel secure and be secure when they’re with you. This is what you want. They’ll turn to you when concerned and scared. They’ll seek your wisdom when not sure of what to do. They’ll trust you to do your best.

We can’t protect children wherever they go. We can increase their security when they’re with us.

The things we can do we should do. Now.

Now.

Now.

Don’t wait.

Do it now. {eoa}

 Dr. Kathy Koch is the author of Screens & Teens: Connecting with Our Kids in A Wireless World.

This article originally appeared at drkathykoch.com.

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